Explain the Unexplainable.

I don't sleep anymore.

It's strange, because I'm not tired, or even emotionally stressed to that point.

It stopped. Along with the crying. I just... I can't. I sob and shake all over and nothing. No kind of tears, no kind of weariness, no anything.

I'm not supposed to exsist, and I think I'm being reminded of that.

I opened my eyes in the morning, wide awake and dry-faced, to the sound of someone in the room.

"Good morning." He said quietly, and if I could've cried, I would've. Again. Still. As always.

I stayed now, at night, in Zach's bed with him. We're no longer in the hospital - he was moved to my room, because he has no family in the litteral sense of the world (his grandmother left the clan and moved to Wisconsin after hearing of... the problem). He lies in my bed, and every night, I lay there and talk to him about everything that's going on and about how much people care about him; about how much he's impacting my entire world. And always, I tell him the one thing I hope he knows more than anything - or did, before the...

I love him. He is my world.

So every night, sleepless and unmoving, I lie in his bed until someone comes in. No one knocks anymore, since my room has kind of stopped being my room and has turned into visitation central.

The person in the room had been there every morning for the last week, and suffice to say, had kept my busy. Already, he'd been in the room for almost three hours - he'd been silent, sitting in the winged-back chair farthest away from the bed. He knew how I felt, and took it into consideration. I, in turn, always pulled myself out of the bed, by Zach's warm figure, and sat in the seat three down from him.

He smiled at me sadly. "Is there anything you know of...?"

I sighed and rocked back and forth, my head in my hands. For the third time in an hour, he was asking me this question. I didn't know how to fix anything anymore - and when it came down to people, I knew nothing at all.

"I can't see a way." I protested, and even I could hear the anger in my own voice. He, of course, did too, and leaned back in his chair.

"You know the promise still stands, Clara. No matter what happens."

"I know. But for me to even go through on my end, you need to try to the fullest extent to solve this. Please."

"There's always the one suggestion." he threw out casually, as if it weren't already hanging in the tension-filled air.

"No. Absolutely not." I said flatly. "It's pointless in this situation, and I don't even want to consider it."

He closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "No offense, Clare, but does it really, honestly, make a difference in the long run?"

My temper flared. "Yes," I hissed. "Yes, it does. Death is very different than this." I gestured at the bed. "This is... It's..."

There was no word.

"Worse." he supplied. "For you and everyone involved."

I gritted my teeth together. "Just let me decide that."

There was a moment of tough silence as I fought back a yell that was being produced by all of... Well, everything. Nothing was smooth anymore.

He ran his hand over his face. "Look, I'm sorry, but you're so different now, and that's bothering me more than it should. I don't want this to fail and you to be miserable."

I smiled weakly. "Does it really make a difference in the end?"

"Touche" he noted quietly, his eyes on the bed and the figure in it. "Do you mind if I...?"

The question trailed off, as so many of the same question had, though coming from different - more familiar - mouths.

I could've said yes, like I did to all the rest. Yes, and stay away, because it belongs to me.

"No, go ahead." I sighed.

His ruby eyes flickered to me for a reaction, but I'd already looked away. Studying the creme-colored carpet that I'd been carried across, dragged across, and loved across.

Dammit.

He moved over to the bed and breathed in sharply. The tubes, the wires, the blood... All of it was nauseating, and I had no doubt that he hadn't been expecting it to be as bad as it was.

I closed my eyes. I didn't want to watch his reaction anymore than I wanted to relive my own. That first day of knowing that he wouldn't ever talk to me again - wouldn't ever dream again - it was agonizing. I was as suicidal as you could get without ever wanting to kill yourself. The thoughts, the words, the memories... One by one, terror after terror, all of the good memories played out in front of my eyes in slow motion, seeming to take forever, but only actually consuming a number of sharp-edged seconds.

God, I didn't want to think anymore. Why couldn't my mind go where his did?

Jesus. That's... Unspeakably horrible. I can't even think without making myself want to fall into oblivion.

I was in the middle of humming to myself - A pianists nightmare of a lullaby, complex and dark, with three pianos in unison - when I didn't need to anymore. My thoughts were averted.

"What the hell are you doing?"

My eyes flashed open to Annora, standing in the doorway.

But she wasn't talking to me.

The angry, shocked tone was directed at Alec, who had his hands poised lightly over the bed, his eyes alert and threatened - something of how I looked, I would've guessed.

But instead, Alec just dropped his hands and raised an eyebrow. "I'm here for a favor to a friend. Do you mind leaving now?"

Annora mimed him sarcastically. "Uh, yeah, I would mind."

I snorted. Alec just rolled his eyes and came back to the winged-back chair, settling into it comfortably.

"AGAIN," Annora announced, angrily. "What. Are. You. Doing. Here?!"

"It's none of your business," I said roughly, and Alec flashed me a suspicious look.

Annora crossed arms, "And why isn't it?"

"I could kill her, if it would help." Alec said easily.

I stood up, trying to bite back on the immense anger building up. "Oh, I don't know, maybe because anything concerning my friends is my business. Stay. Out. Of. IT."

The angry scowl on her face vanished, to be replaced by a look of utter confusion and repulsion.

"Friends?" she asked, uneasily.

I let out a frustrated sigh and collapsed back into my seat and rubbed the bridge of my nose, fighting the temper. "Dammit, Annora..."

"Wouldn't it be easier to just answer the question?" she retorted.

Alec glanced over at me, elegantly confused. "You didn't tell her, then?"

I groaned. "No, and there would be a reason."

She stepped towards me, the scowl growing back. "Didn't tell me what?"

"Shit." Alec said lightly.

I dropped my hands into my lap and looked at her tiredly. "Annora, go away."

"And what if I say no?"

"And what exactly even gives you the right to step foot in this room?" Alec interjected before I could, smoothly and without the faintest trace of being perturbed.

I didn't miss the frown he was still directing my way.

"Um, well, go ahead and kill me, but I'm family and I care."

I could feel it drop - the entire 'fight it back' thing. She was getting in deep, and she didn't have a clue.

"Care for WHO, Annora?" I raged. "Because I'll be damned if I've seen you in here more than twice."

She sighed. "I care for both you and Zach."

I laughed, the bitterness that I'd had all week - all month, rather, seeping into my tone. "Right. You care."

"I can't stand being around other people, Clara, that's the only reason I haven't been here." She looked at me like I'd hurt her. "I thought you'd remember that."

I looked at her in shock and disbelief.

Alec chimed in with a shy, "Be careful, Clara." before the words shot out of my mouth.

"YOU can't be around people?!" I spat. "Dear GOD, Annora, you're SO right! You should TOTALLY have an excuse! Because I haven't been LIVING in the pain of the friends and family, and, God forbid, my FIANCE, for the last two months!"

Her eyes widened a fraction. "I'm so sorry Clara. I should of come..." she shook her head and laughed sarcastically. "I'm just a selfish little brat - that's all."

Oh, my God. I wanted to hit her.

"And now you have to approve my friends, Annora? Just because, all of the sudden, you want to interfere with what's been happening since it's gotten that much out of control that you 'need to do something', or whatever?" I swore and stood up angrily, pacing the room.

Alec's eyes left me and glided easily to her. "Maybe you should just listen to her and leave."

Annora ignored him, "I don't need to approve of anything in your life Clare." she said, actually sounding earnest. "I was just wondering what you were doing hanging around him--last thing I knew you weren't so happy with him....." She blew her hair out of face and muttered, almost inpercievably, "not that it'd surprise me..."

I spun around to face her. "And what the hell is THAT supposed to mean?!"

Alec leaned his head back against the chair and closed his eyes, sighing.

"You hating him. I mean last time I remember he hurt you." As if his relaxation were some kind of twisted que, she raised her eyebrows and looked over at him as if she was looking at some kind of garbage. "Great friend."

Alec's eyes opened suddenly, focusing in on Annora with a sharp glare. "I'd take care not to bring that up, vegan."

She scoffed. "Ouch. That hurt."

Alec quirked a wicked smile. "It's all too bad that I didn't come across you instead and break your lousy little head." he laughed softly. "You're so weak."

I slammed my hand down on the desk in the corner. "DAMMIT, THIS DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH OUR FAMILY, ANN. Just LEAVE!"

That was it. The only energy my body had decided I needed to survive, and I'd used it on her. I slid to the floor in front of the desk.

Annora glared at Alec, "I would have like you to try, I know some people who would be very happy about it." And then, so be it, she turned and looked at me. "Why can't you just answer one question, Clara, it can't be so difficult."

I sighed and cradled my head in my hands. "What?" I asked without any true conviction. "What was the damned question?"

"What. Is. He. Doing. Here?”

Through my fingers, I saw the smug look drop from Alec's face as he glanced over at me, almost sorry.

Somehow, I guess because of the no-sleep, no-tire, no-used-to-not-sleeping thing, the entire situation seemed almost... funny.

I laughed tiredly. "I can't tell you," I said, shaking my head. "I'd love to, but I can't."

"And why not?" she demanded.

Alec stood up and opened the door. "Annora, it's time to go." he said calmly.

Annora looked disbelievingly between us, "Oh. Yeah. And leave her with you. Right."

I stood up carefully and started dusting myself off to distract me from looking at her. "He won't hurt me."

“I’m only here to help.” Alec sighed.

I glanced over at him accusingly. How could he say that, when she was RIGHT THERE?! She couldn’t know, and he knew it! How could he...

Annora looked at him, "You're what?"

"Helping," Alec said blandly. "The action of assisting or favoring another. It's a verb. Obviously, you've never heard of it."

Annora just rolled her eyes, immune to the unheard message. "It just seems odd to hear you and help in the same sentence."

"I'm not playing around anymore." he said, his voice dangerous. "Leave before you hurt anyone." His eyes landed on me.

I laughed dryly. "Quit being stoic, Alec."

His eyes returned to Annora, hard and watchful.

She just stood there. “Before I hurt anyone?”

Alec gritted his teeth. "You're pushing it close, young one."

"I was just asking a question,” she said, shrugging it off. “It's human nature you know."

"Dammit, Clara, she's annoying! Forget it!" he said angrily, and then spun on her, grabbing the front of her shirt and slamming her against the wall. "I am here," he said in a deep hissing voice. "to save Zachary Creullen from a very untimely death in any way possible. I'm being paid and it's not just an act of friendship, so I would very much appreciate it if you could keep your little freckled nose out of my affairs."

I ran my hand over my face and swore quietly.

“...Alright...” Annora mumbled, trying to recover gracefully.

Alec dropped her suddenly, but in a quick act, she remained standing. I stepped up to her and clenched my fingers together.

“Don’t you dare tell Edward.” I whispered.

“Since when have I ever squealed?” she asked, slightly appalled that I would have to warn her.

I waved her away, turning around and heading back towards the bed, and toward the one person who usually could uncomplicate things. “Just... Go away.”

And she did, mumbling "Alright..."

I bit my lip as Alec stared over at me. "I cannot believe you."

"Yeah, well, we're not all proud of what we do, okay?"

He shook his head and started to stand up. "Tomorrow, maybe. Today, I think you need to get your head together."

I just shook my head as he opened the door again.

"Clara, you know what I do, down to the detail. He's not going anywhere without your permission."

Fatigue set in with those words and I fell back against the chair and looked at Zach. Alec noticed and sighed, walking away from the door and kneeling down in front of me.

"I know that you're trying to keep him close to you," he said softly, looking into my eyes, "but maybe there's some choices that none of us, even those of us that seem to be invincible, can make, let alone withstand. I can't help you with this unless you're willing to take a risk."

I swallowed and he nodded, as he stood up and turned to leave.

"Oh, and as for the deal," he said, as if in an afterthought, "Maybe... If you want to do it yourself... Maybe I can cut it off."

I just closed my eyes.

He waited a moment, and then I heard his footsteps as they blurred together and then disappeared.

I can't begin to apologize for something I'm not sorry for, is all I can say.