Once in a Lifetime...

...Means no second chance,
So I believe that you and me
Should grab it while we can...

I don't know why, but I'm sitting here on my bed, depressed. Edward knows, but I already told him off and I doubt he's coming back in sometime tonight.

Bear with me - I'm getting philosophical, here.

I was watching a movie last night with Alice, and it spurred this whole thought about second chances, and that once in a lifetime really does mean no second chances, which led me to the whole thought of Bella and the choice she was making about this whole vampire thing. I mean, I love her. I really do. We may not be as close as sisters or anything, but if losing her means losing Edward, I have to - I can't let him go.

So, remembering something about Rosalie's past, I went and talked to her. She agrees on the fact that being human is something that you can only do once, and for all of us, was something that we'd be dead without - something she wishes would've happened to her. Her whole point, I concluded from the talk, was that the things you can only do once in a lifetime become dull and pointless when you're alive eternally.

Anyways, Edward kind of overheard. And I'm pretty sure Annora would've, except that she was asleep, since she's different like that.

And now Ed's watching me 24/7, like it would make any difference. I don't plan to stop anything out of the ordinary, so Mr. Anthony-Masen Cullen, get over your bad self and quit invading my mind. It's driving me crazy! I'd almost rather go back up to Alaska, if that's what it takes!

But then again, Tanya also got on my last microscopic nerve.

Edward - Chill. Breathe. I love you. You're the only person in the world who's ever been close like a brother to me, even though we're not related at all by, hah, blood.

Ugh.
Hopefully, this excitement is over.

-Clara


Ps - Random fact: My middle name is Jezebel. As in the queen who was eaten by dogs in the bible. IRONY!