Ever and Never.

Last night I dreamt about Nick. We were sitting underwater, in the ocean, just laughing at each other.

...No, I'm not on drugs. Pinky promise.

Oh, I guess I didn't post that on my blog... He moved away again. It seems that he still has family alive somewhere, most likely his step-sister. He wanted to be close to family, and really, I can't blame him.

Anyway, in the dream, he had never left, you know? Kind of like we were still friends from back when we were younger. And it wasn't a nightmare, like the Zach dream. Thank God.

I shouldn't be writing about this, I guess. Some pretty big stuff's been happening.

You know those awkward talks you hate to have but have to love later? (If confused, read again, but slowly and with another sheet of paper, if needed.) I had one of those with Zach today.

We were sitting out in the tree we'd first kissed under (Wow, that didn't sound cheesey at all...), just kind of talking about the upcoming weekend and what our families were up to. His best friend, Dhart, was actually coming over that night, and they were going to both come over on Saturday and hang out at our house. Dhart and I had met before; he was one of the werewolves with Zach that had helped save me, and it also kind of spurred on our eventual crossing since he went to school with us. He was relaxed around me, unlike his two older brothers, Malachi and Caston, who hated the idea of vampires in the first place, and had stopped talking to Zach since he'd become friends with me.

"Just... don't bring up Mal and Cast; it's kind of a personal subject that he doesn't like to talk about."

I nodded, swinging my feet back and forth off lacksadasically. "I know."

"And Jake may be swinging by for a minute to give some stuff to Bella through Edward, according to Edward's rules to Jake."

"I know."

"Yeah. If he decides to come up and talk, just kick him out, no big deal, okay?"

I raised an eyebrow, smiling at Zach. "I... Wait... You want ME to kick him out?"

Zach looked over at me in alarm, and then relaxed, seeing that I was teasing, grinning. "Obnoxious."

I nudged him playfully. "We've talked about this. Why so serious all of the sudden?"

He sighed. "I don't know, I guess it's just that I really want everyone to love you like I do, but not like I do, because then I'd have to shank them."

I went over his words for a minute, and then began laughing so hard that by the time I was able to breath again, the tears were leaking out of my eyes. "Did you really just say shank?!"

He laughed along with me. "High school vocabulary. Honestly, I couldn't think of anyway else to describe what I'd do! But seriously, Clare, I really want them to like you."

I shrugged. "It's not like it wouldn't be understandable if they didn't."

He frowned sarcastically over at me. "There's nothing wrong with you."

"I'm dead, Zach. That's usually kind of a quick turn-off."

He laughed dryly. "Still... As a person..."

"A dead person..."

He rolled his eyes. "As a DEAD person, you're not vicious or flesh-eating or completely repulsive."

"Oh, good! As long as I'm not completely repulsive...!"

He laughed quietly. "Clara, you really don't seem like you're dead, though, and I keep having a hard time reminding myself that you are."

The mood shifted in the tree from happy-go-lucky to solemn.

"Zach..." I started uneasily.

"I know, you warned me, but I just can't imagine you dying."

I shrugged. "It wasn't anything special. I just, bam, died."

"...And then cowered in pain and agnoy for days." he finished dryly.

"Well, okay, yeah, but I was passed out for a long time, you know. I didn't really feel anything too much; probably why I can do the whole 'sense pain' thing."

Zach shuddered. "Okay, ruining the completely happy moment we're currently having, are you avalible from the thirteenth to the fifteenth?"

I frowned at him. "You're not going to come over?"
is
He smiled mischeviously. "I refuse to."

"Oh, really?"

"Really. For Valentine's Day, you're all mine."

I grinned. "Kidnapping me?"

"Heck yes."

"Okay. Where to, oh thou theif of the invincible Clara?"

"That's none of the invincible Clara's worries. Her super hot Zachary has got it all planned out." he said, winking.

I was in awe.
I'd found a guy who wanted to celebrate a chocolaholic holiday with a girl who didn't eat food and thought flowers were a waste of money. But WHY?

Soon enough, it was dark outside and Zach's phone read almost ten. He kissed me goodnight and carried me out of the tree, laughing at my feeble attempts to get away.

"I hate being carried."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Princess. Would you like me to make it up to you?"

I smiled. "Stay tonight? Go to school tomorrow?"

He laughed. "I don't think so. Dhart's going to be pissed as it is that I'm three hours late - I'm not sure that he'd like hearing that I completely blew him off... Especially since the new kid is still having trouble in transition." he sighed, and then smiled evilly over at me. "Though trust me," he said, raising an eyebrow. "It is tempting."

I flipped my hair. "Tempting is in my nature."

"Thank God." He kissed me. "Anyway, I'll still be able to pick you up from school tomorrow, and we'll do whatever you want... Minus the whole 'bind Zach up and torture him for leaving'."

"Very funny. Do you realize you just ruined the whole aspect of what I had planned?"

He grinned. "Sorry - life kind of sucks in that way."

He left after dropping me by the house - like I needed an escort - and headed over to his house, the one he hadn't spent too many nights in since he'd met me. Not that we would ever do anything, you know. Just sleep. But that was good; we were mutual on that whole thing.

After all, when dreaming came down to it, some times sleeping was pretty fun.

At home, we were back to discussing the upcoming holiday - Edward had brought it up. He was pacing the room as everyone else sat around and calmly laughed at him.

"It's such a fickle holiday!" he exclaimed.

"Girls love "fickle" holidays, Ed." Jasper chimed in. "Alice and I already have plans, in fact."

Edward shot him a look. "There's the problem; I need to take her somewhere special."

"Why not back to the meadow? She loves that place." Rosalie threw in, looking somewhat disgusted and touched at the same time, if that was even possible. "Em and I are just staying home, watching some scary movies, and then... Ha."

Her eyes landed on me and she smiled wickedly. "Toning the coversation back down, Emmett and I will be having a lovely boring evening at home that will not involve anything about a bed."

"You're horrid." I said dryly. "I don't want to know about your love life."

"You love it." Emmett retorted to me, walking into the room, hugging her. "But agreed - Let's keep that to ourselves."

I shivered.

"I can't use the meadow again." Edward said blandly. "I want this to be really special - the wedding's been postponed again and again, and there's not a great enough way to make that up to her, but I want to try."

He sighed and looked over at me, a frustrated look on his face. "Where have you been?"

"With Zach. He's not coming over tonight."

Edward nodded, and then looked thoughtful, a playful look growing on his face. "So do you two have any plans for Valentine's Day?"

I snorted. "Yes."

Edward started laughing loudly, thunderous booms scaring the rest of the family.

"What the hell...?" Mumbled Emmett.

I groaned. "I hate Valentine's Day. The whole essence of it drives me crazy."

He looked amused. "No lie?"

"No, actually, she's not." Edward supplied happily. "The year I knew her before she was changed, she explained that if she was changed, she'd gladly give up chocolates and flowers, because she wasn't fond of either."

"You don't like CHOCOLATE?!"

I nodded. "Hate the stuff. It's not like I'd eat it anyway, though, with the whole 'dead' vibe going on."

"Or flowers."

"Right."

"But flowers are pretty!" Alice chirped.

"I know! But they die so quickly... And I have a bad history with them."

"Oh, PLEASE. Clara Elizabeth Jezabel, you're just trying to be dramatic!" Rosalie exclaimed.

"No, really." Edward said, quietly amused. "I brought her flowers the day I left."

"Which, incidentally, was the day that I died." I filled in. "They were gorgeous, blood red roses, but I was in so much pain that I can't stand them anymore."

"Oh my God, you're weird." Emmett pointed out.

"It's still no reason to call me your God, Em." I said teasingly.

He cracked a smile. "Loser."

Edward went back to thinking of plans, and glanced up at me as I tried to sneak away into my room.

"Hey, so if you're not going anywhere, maybe you two and Bella and I..."

I sighed. "No. You need to be with Bella by yourself. Plus, like I said, I have plans. Zach's stealing me for three days."

Edward's eyes turned dark. "What?"

"We're just going to hang out somewhere, Ed. Don't flip out."

He shook his head. "That's why he's been humming.

"...Pardon?"

The doorbell rang, and I jumped up to get it. "All of you, shut up and behave."

"Psh, whatever." Alice said haughtily.

I took a breath to calm me down. "Okay. Here we go. Dhart and Zach."

Pulling open the door, smiling brightly, I was tackled by a huge werewolf bulk in a hug.

"Zach! Jeez!"

He laughed, planting a kiss on my cheek. "Sorry. I missed you."

I grinned. "I missed you, too."

He stepped inside, another figure trailing him in.

"Hi, you're Clara, then?"

I nodded, shaking his hand. "And you must be Dhart."

He was pretty cute, but most of them were, from what I'd seen. He had dark eyes, with the same color hair that hung in his eyes, dressed in baggy jeans and a 'Wickedosity' tee-shirt, with a slightly questioning smile.

"Right." He looked down at my hand, curious. "So it's true then?"

Zach raised his eyebrows.

"You're a..."

"Vampire. Yep." I smiled. "Pretty weird, hm?"

He kind of laughed. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess so."

"Anyway..." Zach said, shooting his friend a look. "We were just going to watch some movies and hang out over here..."

"Sounds cool." Dhart said politely. "Thanks for inviting me to come with him, Clara."

I nodded. "You're welcome, though you really don't need to much of an invitation. It's kind of an open house."

He smiled again, like he thought I was strange.

Luckily, I was used to it.

"Okay," Zach said as we headed into the living room. "Shooter or Bourne?"

"I'm more toward Shooter, but only because it's got Kate Mara in it. I love her." I noted, shrugging.

Meanwhile, Dhart had stopped dead in his tracks.

"Hello." Edward said amusedly from the corner of the room. "Nice to see you again."

I could tell Dhart was trying not to growl, his eyes on my so-called brother. "Are you actually related to her, or are you here just to piss me off?"

"Neither. I live here, but I'm not actually blood relation, if you'll pardon the pun. None of us are. But I thought you knew this by now...?"

I groaned. It was going to be a long night.

And truly, it was. It stretched out until ten, after we finished watching the movie, Zach and Dhart sitting awkwardly on the couch while I curled up on the loveseat, Dhart still nervous about being around me. As both of them put on their jackets, Dhart already heading out the door, Zach leaned down and kissed me.

"I'm sorry." He said wistfully.

"No, I'm sorry. 'Gracious host' is not on my list of perfected abilities."

"He could have been a little more poised."

I shrugged, trying to look neutral. "It doesn't matter."

He kissed me again, wrapping his arms around me. "Two more days and I'll kidnap you. Just the two of us. No worries, okay?"

I sighed, leaning into him. "Okay. I love you."

He smiled, stalling at the doorway. "I love you more."

So pretty much, I'll have to post more soon. I'm already tired (It's such a strange feeling!) and might actually be tempted to crash before midnight.

Your personal kidnap-ee,
Clara